Written by Bridge Church Tech Director Andy Boettcher
NOTE: THIS IS THE fourth blog in our series following the season of lent.
“Why don’t you pray after that portion of the service?” I asked. “That should give the band some time to get back onstage to be ready for the last song.”
From the perspective of a worship leader trying to plan a tight transition from one portion of a Sunday morning service to the next, this can be a perfectly innocent thing to say. But it’s also a really easy way to forget what it actually means to pray. And I have to confess, I have often been guilty of forgetting.
It’s not wrong, of course, to plan such a transition within a worship service––we regularly do this at The Bridge so that we are ready to hear from the worship leader or start singing the next song as soon as the person leading in prayer says “amen.” My point is that I have fallen into the trap of thinking of that prayer time as a transition between practices rather than a unique practice in itself.
As we continue in our blog series exploring different practices associated with the season of Lent, I wanted to take the opportunity to approach the practice of prayer with some self-examination. After all, to quote Dave Norbeck’s first blog entry in this series, “Lent traditionally is a season where we, as the church, examine our lives to see where we have drifted away from Christ.” My hope is that as I examine the parts of prayer I’ve forgotten, there might be something for each of us to remember and reclaim about this practice.
So, other than simply not being a transition… what is prayer?
Prayer is essential for our walk with Jesus.
I confess that this is the biggest area of forgetfulness in my prayer life. If I’m honest, I think of prayer as an essential part of walking with Jesus more often than my prayer life actually reflects this. But prayer is not an add-on to the Christian life––it is essential.
“All people pray for one of two reasons––either because they ought to or because they must… If ought-prayers see prayer like perfume, a welcome but nonessential addition to the air, then must-prayers see it like oxygen, the element of the atmosphere their life depends upon.” - Skye Jethani, What if Jesus was Serious… About Prayer? p. 26-27
Jesus modeled prayer for His disciples. He taught them how to pray. Notably, He taught them to pray behind closed doors:
“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” - Jesus in Matthew 6:5-8
For followers of Jesus, prayer is not something to be done as a show. It is not about the number or eloquence of your words. It is not even about transferring information to God––as if He was unaware of that which is in our hearts or minds. God doesn’t need us to tell Him what is going on and He doesn’t need a performance. We, however, need to commune with God. The One whom we need for our very breath has given us a gift in being able to go to Him in prayer with anything and everything. When we truly recognize this, we move from being ought-prayers to must-prayers.
Prayer is about being vulnerable with God.
I usually catch myself forgetting about this aspect of prayer when I am in the middle of praying. Have you had this experience? You’re praying, and suddenly you realize you have been praying for a while using phrases that are empty of meaning because you’re simply reciting them and going through the motions of prayer rather than actually conversing with God. I believe this is a large reason behind the hesitancy that many feel about using pre-written prayers. (Personally, I have found pre-written prayers to be very helpful in guiding and shaping my prayer life… but maybe I can save that discussion for a later blog post!)
As I reflect on this aspect of prayer, it’s hard for me to fathom a more vulnerable practice. In prayer, we are conversing with the One who knows us better than we know ourselves. To borrow a phrase from the Book of Common Prayer, He is “the One from whom no secrets are hid.”
How are we to approach God with this in mind? I love the posture that the writer and Catholic priest Henri Nouwen describes when talking about our vulnerability before God in prayer:
“Often you will catch yourself wanting to receive your loving God by putting on a semblance of beauty, by holding back everything dirty and spoiled, by clearing just a little path that looks proper. But that is a fearful response––forced and artificial. Such a response exhausts you and turns your prayer into torment. Each time you dare to let go and to surrender one of those many fears, your hand opens a little and your palms spread out in a gesture of receiving. You must be patient, of course, very patient, until your hands are completely open.” - Henri Nouwen, With Open Hands, p. 25
Although he is speaking metaphorically, since reading this quote I have found it helpful to actually physically close my hands when I am beginning to pray. Then, as I consider the things on my heart and the things I would rather keep hidden or tucked away, I slowly open my hands while I confess them to God. There’s nothing mystical or magical about it. It’s not a secret practice that manipulates God into forgiving me of those things I am unveiling in my heart. Rather, it’s a way of helping me recognize my constant need to repeat this process.
When I admit to God what I would rather keep to myself, I am reminded that my default state is one of closed hands. Yet, God already knows where I have been and what I have done and how I have fallen short, and His is a posture of welcoming open hands. As I open mine, it is a reminder that I can be vulnerable with the Lord and that His grace is sufficient for me.
One day I won’t need the reminder. But in the meantime, I’ll keep practicing opening up my hands.
Prayer is communion with God amidst a busy world.
One thing I have not forgotten is the busyness of the world around me. That is the part of this aspect of prayer that comes easily. What I do forget about is the fact that prayer is not something that we wait to do once our schedule clears up. Rather, prayer should be a constant amidst the busyness.
Busyness often affects my prayer life such that I find myself remembering to pray at the very end of the day as I am getting ready to fall asleep. And while I think that praying before bed is a wonderful practice, I think that C.S. Lewis has some wisdom when he acknowledges that making bedtime our primary prayer time is not the best idea.
“My own plan, when hard pressed, is to seize any time, and place, however unsuitable, in preference to the last waking moment.” - C.S. Lewis, Letters to Malcolm: Chiefly on Prayer, p. 20
Imagine if the only time you talked with a friend was the very moment before they fell asleep. If the friend was anything like me right before I go to sleep (or between the time I wake up and have a cup of coffee), I imagine the depth of conversation would be… lacking.
Yet I still find that there are days when I only remember to pray right at the end of the night.
I need to be reminded of Paul’s exhortation to “pray without ceasing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17) It needs to be my default state––communion with God.
I am by no means an expert in succeeding in this practice, but one thing that has helped me quite a bit is creating reminders for myself to pray about specific things. When I was in college, there was one building on campus in which I knew I would have the majority of my classes. I decided that every time I passed by the flagpole outside of it as I approached the building, I would find one thing to thank God for that day. It didn’t matter how big or small the thing was––the point was that I would have an easy reminder to direct my attention to God in thankfulness.
There was no real significance to the place that I chose as that reminder other than the fact that I knew I would need to pass by it more frequently than other spots on campus. But even today when I visit the campus, if I go to that building and pass by the flagpole, I search for something to thank God for as I do so.
We are all prone to forget. That is why we need reminders. What can you identify in your life––a location, a time of day, or something else you encounter regularly––that could serve to remind you to pray about specific things?
Prayer is something that shapes us for the better.
Rather than explain this final point, I want to leave it with you as an encouragement and a challenge. Do you believe that prayer, spending time with God, shapes you for the better? I have no doubt that it does. But if you have any doubts, I would encourage you to adopt the practice of praying the Lord’s Prayer every day for some time. Since we are in the middle of the season of Lent and about a month away from Easter, maybe you could make it a goal to pray it each day until that Sunday when we celebrate the resurrection.
But when you pray, don’t just say the words. Consider what you are praying. Maybe even put it into your own words. It could look something like this:
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.
You are holy and wholly worthy of all the glory, Father.
Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
In the same way that you reign in heaven, make your reign apparent on earth today.
Let your will be done in and through me today.
Give us this day our daily bread,
providing my physical and spiritual needs,
and forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Lord, make me aware of those I need to forgive as well as the areas in which I am in need of forgiveness.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
By your Holy Spirit, help me to identify temptations as they come.
Deliver me, Lord, from the evils that surround.
For yours are the kingdom and the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen.
May the words that Christ taught us to pray shape us ever more into people who give others a glimpse of that kingdom of which we are praying. And may the Holy Spirit shape us into people who continually remember to turn to our Maker in prayer.
Andy Boettcher
Photo by Jeremy Yap on Unsplash